2014년 11월 30일 일요일

Peer Review 1 방가연

Peer Review - 방가연

Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
4점
다양한 근거자료를 이용하여 자신의 주장을 강화한 점이 인상깊음

How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
conclusion 부분에서 좀더 강하게 주장하면 좋을 것같다. 
Thesis
What is the thesis?
Classical music has positive influence on human.Is the thesis clear and debatable?
Yes and yes

If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
I also think that the classical music has positive impacts. So I will write the thesis as similar with that.

Any other thoughts?
노우

Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?
I can identify 5 parts easily. And I thought that there is no missing part.

Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis? 
Yes. Starting with the question leads me to read. 

Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
Yrs, she explains about the Mozart Effects to understand and support the thesis.

Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
그렇다. 다양한 종류의 근거로 주장을 강화한 것같다. 
하지만 쥐 실험부분을 읽으며 약간의 의문이 들었다. 이 에세이에는 얼마나 오랜기간, 혹은 시간 음악을 들려줬는지가 명확하게 나타나 있지 않는 것같다. 그래서 궁금했다. 그리고 만약 짧은 시간 음악을 들려준 것이라면 과연 그 음악이 뇌에 영향을 미칠 수 있을까? 하는 의문이 들었다.  

Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
yes, 또다른 자료를 이용해 반박했다. 

Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis? 
네, 반대의견을 인정하며 단점보다는 장점이 많다는 말이 인상깊었다. 하지만 마지막 부분인 만큼 더 강하게 주장할 필요가 있는 것같다. 

What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
딱히 없는듯!

Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis? 
I agree

When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I also agree

If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
여전히 그렇게 생각함.

How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?
실험, 연구결과, 경험 등 다양한 사례로 근거를 들은 것 같다. 

Research
Is the author using research effectively? 
yes
Is the research from appropriate sources?
yes
Are the sources obvious?
yes

Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
yes 적절한 부분에서 근거자료를 이용함

Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
없는 것 같다

2014년 11월 16일 일요일

Second Draft

Second Draft
 
The lie detector is not accurate to use in the court as the evidence.
 
Have you ever told a lie? Or, have you ever noticed other people's lying? I think most people have the experience in both questions. But it is hard to distinguish lie and truth by oneself. We can just guess it based on our subjective judgment. And here is a device that can distinguish the lie, a lie detector!

The goal of a lie detector is to measure the truth from deception when giving answers to some questions. Nowadays the lie detector is widely used. It is used in the police investigation and in the court as the evidence. In addition, we need to do a lie detector test to attain a job, because certain government jobs like the FBI or CIA require the lie detector tests.

Common idea about the lie detector is that it is really accurate and reliable because it's based on the numeric data. But I think it is not accurate, so I argue that the lie detector's result for the evidence in the court is not proper. For these reasons, my argument is 'The lie detector is not accurate to use in the court as the evidence.'
 
Everyone knows distinguishing lie is not easy. We are not sure of it, Here is the device that named 'lie detector', as I said above in the introduction. You can find the meaning and the goal of the lie detector instantly as soon as you hear it.

In the court, the evidence plays the important role in  making judgment. Also it can turn the final judgement. But If the lie detector is used in the court as the evidence like nowadays, we have to worry about the misjudgment of the lie detector. It is evindent that some innocent people can be damaged by it.
 
There is new information. Do you know that there are two types of the lie detector? Maybe no. There are polygraph and FRMI.
Polygraphs are devices that monitor a person's physiological reactions. A polygraph is used to monitor changes in the body. When a person is questioned about a certain event or incident, his or her phtsiological reactions such as heart rate, blood pressure, respiratory rate and perspiration(sweatiness), which are different from normal levels, can be measured.
 
Likewise, FMRI(Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging) can distinguish the lie as the polygraph. However, there is the difference.
FMRI has several ways to detect. First, BOLD(blood oxygenation level dependent) sognal is used. This BOLD signal is the method for measureing the oxygen amount in the blood of brain. Second one is 'cognitive subtraction'. This process compares the picture of the brain that telling lie and telling truth.
Both Polygraph and the FMRI are the ways to distinguish the lie. However, polygraph record the physiological reactions, while the FMRI records the oxygen amount in the blood of brain.
 
First, FMRI of 'cognitive subtraction' is just relative. Most people think that vitalized parts of the brain are rekated to the liebased on the result of the FMRI. However, according to the study, there are some parts that are vitalized in FMRI but have no relative with lie. So, it means there are some vitalized parts that are not related with the lie. Therefore, some parts of the brain can be vitalized just to keep the balance in the brain. However, we can't know the reason for it. So we can only say that the FMRI of cognitive subtraction is just relative and not accurate.

Second, there are two limits in both polygraph and the FMRI. We can't remember all the thing exactly. There can have false memories. If so, why the false memory is formed? According to this research, social pressure has an effect on the recollection of people. And we can be encouraged not to think about whether our memories are real or not. Put simply, people are not able to distinguish true memory from false memory in some ways. Even, it is not accuracy to judge whether the true memory is really true.

Lastly, environment can be an obstacle to measure the lie(both of polygraph and the FMRI). A recent study found that interruption movement like moving the finger is let the credibility decrease about 33 percent. So the result of the lie detector is not accurate. The result can change according to the location of test or the mentak state of the experimenter.

I also find the information about change the standard to accept evidence in the court. In 1923, there was a boy named 'Frye' who was prosecuted due to the robbery and murder. In the trial, the court rejected the evidence of the lie detector because of the lack of accuracy. This precedent has been called 'Frye Rule' after his trial. This rule became the standard of the acceptance the evidence for over 50 years. However, the principle of the 'Dovert' was created in 1993 and after that, the lie detector's result started to be accepted in the court as the evidence. Dovert principle is the principle which decide whether the evidence is appropriate to be used as the evidence before accepting the evidence. It has 4 conditions to accept the evidence. And since then, the acceptance rate of the lie detector has been on the increase. According to the statistics, 19 states in the United States of America(USA) accepted the results of the lie detectors as evidence in the court from 1993 to 2003. I don't think this tendency is desirable. And I believe three limits and one precedent can support my argument. If I say again, my view is that the result, obtained from the lie detector caanot be used in the court as the evidence.

Some people can argue that the lie detector is accurate because it distinguishes lie based on the accurate figure. They seem to believe that the figure is more accurate than a person's guessing. They can also argue that there is no reason to reject for an innocent person to reject to receive lie detector test. They may think the lie detector is a useful instrumentsin the court because it just can be used for reference to the judgment. However, these arguments are not logical and rational. There are counter-reasons for these arguments as follows:

First, according to the research that I found above, there are information that tell the lie detector's record is just relative. So, even the record from the figure or the statistics, it is not accurate.

Second, there are many reasons to reject lie detector tests. I will pick out one example as evidence, we can be too nervous when we are suspected, although guiltless. And we may well worry about the misjudgment of the lie detector. The lie detector makes us nervous.

Lastly, if the lie detector is used just for reference, it can also have a significant effect on the judgment. It will make the judge and a member of the jury to be biased. In addition, it can be wrongfully used.
 
Do you know the Buzz's the most notorious episode in the history of the technology? Buzz is the man who was damaged from the lie detector's inaccuracy. Buzz was charged with murder, but he is innocent. So the police suggest to do the lie detector test, and of course, Buzz accept the suggestion because he didn't commit. However, the lie detector said that he is lying about his innocent. Although he didn't commit, the lie detector determine the truth as the lie. So he have to spent some years in the prison despite he is innocent. How unfair he is! Who will reward Buzz's time in the prison? Through this example, we can know the lie detector's inaccuracy. And if we use the lie detector as the evidence in the court, many examples like Buzz's will occur.

Also the result of the lie detector is relative and people can have many false memories, even though they don't recognize their wrong perception.In addition, the condition can be interrupt distinguishing lie. For these reasons, I strongly argue that the lie detector is not accurate to be the evidence in the court.

The example of the lie detector's inaccuracy

Research : 

Vaughan Bell: the truth about lie detectors

Source: http://www.theguardian.com/science/2012/apr/22/lie-detector-fallibility-criminal-psychology

My Topic: The lie detector is not accurate to use in the court as the evidence.

What I hope to learn from this source: I want to find the example of the person who was damaged from the lie detector's result. And I found this example through the article. 

Notes. 
The example from the article

With his dying breath, Fred Ery identified Floyd "Buzz" Fay as his murderer. "Buzz did it," he whispered to his wife, even though the assailant had covered his face and fled quickly from the scene. Ery had been shot as he worked late in his small general store but managed to give Buzz's address shortly before he died on the operating table. Only a few hours later, the police had Buzz's house in Ohio surrounded. When Buzz was charged with aggravated murder, he didn't seem particularly perturbed. "I kept thinking, they'll find the right person, they'll get this straightened out, they'll let me go tomorrow," he told the Calgary Herald, "I wasn't even going to hire a lawyer."
The county prosecutors offered Buzz a deal: they would drop all charges if he agreed to take a polygraph – a lie detector test – to prove his innocence. Convinced the whole episode was one big mistake, Buzz readily agreed. He took two tests but both suggested he was lying about his innocence. This, along with circumstantial evidence, sealed his 1979 conviction and he spent two-and-a-half years in prison for a murder he didn't commit.
During his time in prison, Buzz studied the polygraph. He sent his results to a number of experts but received wildly different interpretations. Determined to show the test was fallible, he developed a training exercise to help people fool the lie detector and after just 15 minutes of instruction, 23 out of 27 inmates beat the polygraph. Buzz was eventually exonerated, helped by the testimony of the real killer's mother, and his case has become one of the most notorious episodes in the history of the technology.
### Summary
The lie detector is not accurate and here is the example to support my opinion. Buzz was damaged by the lie detector's inaccuracy, because he is innocent, but the lie detector said he is lying about his innocent. So he spent years because of the lie detector's inaccuracy. 
>>>>Final Thoughts: Through this example, we can know the lie detector's inaccuracy. And if we use the lie detector as the evidence in the court, many examples like Buzz's will occur.

How to cheat the lie detector

Research : 

How to cheat the lie detector


My Topic: The lie detector is not accurate to use in the court as the evidence.

What I hope to learn from this source: I want to find that there are some articles to teach the way to deceive lie detectors. 

Notes.
There are four methods to deceive:
1. Prepare Well in Advance
2. Be on Your Guard
3. Learn How to Recognize Question Types
4. Apply Polygraph Countermeasures

>>>>Final Thoughts: I want to find some research which shows the lie detector is not accurate because we can even deceive lie detector. And I found pages about teaching the method of deceive lie detector. According to this article, if we follow four steps, normal people like us can deceive it! So it is not accurate.

But I found later that this information from 'wikihow'. Wikihow is similar with the Wikipedia as everyone can register their knowledge. And I determined it is not accurate for my research. Therefore I didn't use it. 

2014년 11월 9일 일요일

Self Evaluation

1) What score do you think you deserve? Here is the rubric: 
I think 2 points are appropriate for my first draft. Because my introduction attracts the audience through asking some question. And my confirmation is really strong and detail. But also, I have some grammar mistakes to correct.


2) What did you do well?
I think my confirmation is really strong. Because I refute most of things from opponents arguments based on my research.

3) What could you have done better?
I think I could have done my conclusion better. Because It has not accurate research to support my opinion. To improve my conclusion, I have to do more research to support.

4) Which part of the classical argument did you use the best
 I think my introduction and confirmation is really good. Because my introduction have all the ingredients that the introuction should have. Also through asking audience's experience about lie, I get my readers attention. And my confirmation is logical and have many information to support my opinion.

5) Which part of the classical argument did you use the most poorly?
I think my conclusion is weak to become final part. So I think I should do more research to make my conclusion more strong.

6) What's your strategy to make your second draft better 
I will rewrite my conclusion with another new information. Not only for conclusion, I will do more research to support my opinion, as the time permits. Also I have to correct my grammar mistake.